Don't Panic.

 yeah i'm going to poland for a month this summer. that's pretty much it.

 i'm 21. success. 

 bbbbbbbaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
-frank

Hey doods. I'm going to be absent from live journal for a little bit while I reevaluate my life. Be back in a few weeks.

- PoPo

 Oh man am I full. This weekend was full of way too delicious foods that I myself made and ate too much of. My roommates and I went to the farmer's market on Saturday morning. Yes.... morning. It wasn't early morning but it was morning none the less and I need to say that I am proud of us all. Go team. I even drank a little and didn't regret doing so the next day which is really a new experience for me. And I did some homework before it got dark on Sunday night. Not only that but I'm doing homework for later this week. And I'm going to the gym later tonight. I think I just turned over a new leaf or something. That just means I've got to keep it up. 
K who saw the new Harry Potter trailer? Yeah I'm not going to lie. I am happy that they changed the date to next year because that movie looks ridiculously epic and I'm really excited about it. Ok back to homework.

I recently stumbled upon the new Coldplay album and this song particularly describes the mood I've been in for months. Thought I would share.


Death And All His Friends lyrics

All winter, we got carried
Oh way over on the rooftops let's get married.
All summer we just hurried
so come over, just be patient, and don't worry.
So come over, just be patient, and don't worry.

So come over, just be patient, and don't worry.

And don't worry.

No I don't wanna battle from beginning to end;
I don't wanna cycle or recycle revenge;
I don't wanna follow death and all his friends.

No I don't wanna battle from beginning to end;
I don't wanna cycle or recycle revenge;
I don't wanna follow death and all of his friends.

Especially the last part.

Instead of studying for my two midterms next week or at least doing laundry I'm sitting here updating my journal. Fabulous. Oh well. Habits are hard to break, and yes, I am going to say that procrastination has become a habit. So I drank on Friday night with my roommates which was a mistake, as most nights involving drinking usually are for me. I was utterly useless yesterday and didn't feel better until 10 at night. Another habit that I just can't seem to break or get control of... kicking the shit out of myself via alcohol. At least it's not more than once a week.
Well today I have to do laundry because I am officially wearing nice clothing because I have nothing else to wear. And I need to study for Bio because I have a midterm tomorrow. And then O Chem on Tuesday. I also have homework and work to do. Yeah I can do this. I hope I can at least.

Have you ever had one of those days where everything you put on feels uncomfortable and you just feel awkward no matter what? I'm having one of those days which is rather unfortunate. Just nothing is working and I have so much shit to do over the next 24 hours. Focus! The worst part is that I can't find a song right now that I can listen to the entire way through without flipping out. I think that's bugging me the most because usually when I'm feeling like this music calms me down. Except that I can't find a song?! What is with today and just this week in general? Just freaking lame is what it is.

I would like to inform you all (all 3 of you?) that I am not slacking on posting entries! I finally moved back up to Davis and it turns out I won't have internet in my apartment for another week. So I'll update later on. Cheers.

have you ever had that really dry taste in your mouth after chewing gum? yeah it's nasty. thought i'd share. 

HI EFFIE!!

has anybody listened to coheed and cambria lyrics? they're kind of intense and uhh yeah. wake up. listen to it. so april 17th. that sounds so familiar and it feels like something important is today. like a birthday. hmmm. i hate it when people forget your birthday. i wish i could say that your true friends are those who remember your birthday but that would just be a dick move because i don't remember ppls birthdays. and i wouldn't have a lot of friends. that sounds bad. anyways. so i'm going to summer school. danky.

dude! what's up people? it's been a long time.

so let's see. i haven't updated this in so long so i suppose that there is a lot to talk about. but for the sake of good taste, i shall keep short. i turned 18 not too long ago. i'm proud of myself for that. it was something that i myself could not even screw up. but anyways. i think i'm going to ucdavis. with dorian. and other people but she's the first person to come to mind right now. i think nick is too. but it's great because i totally lost my login name and i have no idea what it is and i can't log in to say hey! i'm gunna come to your school next year! so i'm kinda freaking out. does anybody know how to tell them officially that i'm taking their offer? because that would be totally cool. so where is everybody going? i haven't really been keeping track, i have lots of stuff going on with me. it's great fun. alright well i'm off to go study for econ (hah because that's really going to happen right?)

Note to self: The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

On Life.
How many times in your life have you had a bad day? Now I’m not talking about a day where a life-changing event beats you upside the head and leaves you broken trying to fit together the shattered pieces of what was your life. I’m talking about a day, where from the moment you get up in the weary morning, all the tiniest things, find the most ingenious way of going wrong. You wake up 15 minutes late from a poor nights sleep and stub your toe on the dresser corner while trying to find the bathroom. You tear your favorite pair of jeans on a crooked nail, leaving them so battered, that you are hopeless for any sort of recovery. You forget your socks while hurtling yourself through the door in hopes of beating the morning’s traffic. But that’s only the beginning.
Now most of us can agree that all these things, although irritating, wouldn’t put us in the foulest of dispositions. It’s when you put all these tiny annoyances together that you start to see that bad day forming in the distance like massive thunderheads over a cooling desert. Finally, when the frustrations of putting up with every slap across the face and their stinging remnants, start to surface and your friends and family begin to take notice, is when you know this day, this exasperating day, cannot get any worse.
You can’t tell them why you’re upset. How are you going to explain something so simple as, the heel of my favorite shoes broke? Even if you could, you would sound like a lunatic and then their concerns would only push you that much closer the edge. After avoiding their anxious glances and careful questions, they finally come out and say it. “What’s wrong?” And then comes the talk. Now personally, this “talk”, the-here-let-me-make-you-feel-better-by-putting-things-into-perspective talk is the most frustrating of them all. You can see it coming from a mile away. Most of the talks I’ve ever suffered through start off with, “Well you know, you don’t have look at it that way.” It just makes you want to hurl doesn’t it? But not as much as what you know is coming next. They pause, waiting for you to throw in your two cents but you can’t say anything. The entire time, you’re thinking to yourself, “don’t say it, don’t say it.” But they do. “Well, you have to look at your life and decide, is the cup half empty, or half full?” For some, that tiny saying can either make or break your day. Now it’s not the actual saying that irritates me so, but rather, it’s the response that throws you quite a little dilemma. You could choose the side that fits your pessimistic feelings best, being that the cup of life is half empty. The only problem with that response is that when you realize your life, truly isn’t half empty at all but only seems so because of your infuriated state, you only become angry with the person who tricked you into saying it and no good comes from it. Now if you’re brave enough to claim your cup of tea is half full, you soon find your interrogator’s ego swelling. They think they’ve helped you, ending the useless discussion with, “You see, your life isn’t at all bad so you have nothing to be angry about.” But you do.
On days like those, when asked about the state of my life in such an annoying and cliché fashion, I say, “Well it depends how thirsty you are.” I see the world with a different light then most. But what I see, in my eyes, is irrelevant. What I find more intriguing are the thoughts and perspectives of others. Upon examining my own life in pursuit of the most brilliant and stirring experience, I found there to be the lack of one. However what I did come across as I relentlessly rummaged through my every thought and memory was my awkward fascination with the way people have different perceptions of the world or their lack of.

so coldplay is my idol and i enjoy dating.

so this weekend felt long and it was weird because usually when you are having fun time goes by fast. which is something that has always confused me because when you are haveing fun you usually don't want time to go by fast so wouldn't it only make sense that since, this being the reletivaly normal thing to think, time would in fact go by slowly because so many people would will it so? ok anyways, back to my weekend...
on friday i went to that thing at phil's house and didn't leave until like 11:50 and it was very entertaining. i got to have this hour long talk with matt about life and how messed up it truely is if thought about.
and since i have to go, i shall update later on what the rest of my amazing peculiar weekend went...